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While waiting is hard; being a prophet of God is Hard! A time when so many seek answers and so many suffer, we sit and watch just waiting for our next go ahead sign.
The year 2020 has come and gone. A year when so many lives changed, lives were lost and many lost Hope! A new year is upon us and a new message has come. My longing and waiting was met with a distant Writing I had forgotten about. Something written quite a while ago, yet was pushed aside and told to be held for another time.

Beware lest Satan will deceive you, just as he deceived Eve in the beginning. He was a murderer from the start. He has Always hated the Truth because there is No truth in Him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies. We are often deceived by our own mind, heart and thoughts most of all. The Truth in Scripture is proven: ‘More than anything else, a persons mind is evil.’ Ask yourself this – How many times have you said “I’ll never do that again!”? Only to turn around and do it again?! A person can search the depths of their heart and mind only to discover there are even farther depths that have not been reached. Solomon once said, ‘He who trusts his own heart is a fool.’ Many a weeping wife has said ‘He is good at heart.’ The truth is that in lies the worst part of him. From the heart comes the issues of Life – Christ says ‘For from within, out of the heart of man, proceeds evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride and foolishness!’ This is the main reason that God told us in the Holy Book not to be equally yoked together with unbelievers.
To those reading, please remember if you want to avoid divorce in your life, everything you do or say starts with a thought seed in your mind and in your heart. There is a spiritual battle in the mind of every human being on earth. It is a battle of good vs evil. – A battle between the Holy Spirit and Satan. The choice is Always yours – God created each of Us with Free Will- meaning He’s given You the power to choose! Understand this battle of good and evil is about your Life, Your marriage and where your Soul will spend eternity!
God has lead me to Galatians Chapter 5. Read these sacred words – not only with your Eyes, but with your Heart and Soul – for Your Life, your Family and your Eternity are at stake!

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve written because I’ve been waiting on the right words, the right timing, or maybe just the knowledge I’m on the right path. I know I’m doing Gods will, but what’s the hold up – No matter what I read, what I study or what I pray – I’m met with nothing. The silence can be deafening. What I’ve concluded is It’s time to WAIT, have patience And focus. Here’s what I found…..

WAIT

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried:

Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate……

And the Master so gently said, ‘WAIT’

“Wait? You say Wait?” my indignant reply

“Lord, I need answers, I need to know WHY?”

Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?

By Faith I have asked, and I’m claiming your Word.

“My future and all to which I relate hangs in the balance

And you tell me to Wait?”

I’m needing a ‘yes,’ a go- ahead sign.

Or even a ‘no,’ to which I’ll resign.

You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,

We need but to ask, and we shall receive.

Lord, I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:

‘I’m weary of asking! I need a reply!’

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,

As my Master replied again, “Wait.”

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut and grumbled to God,

“So I’m waiting……. For What????”

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine…..

and He tenderly said ‘I could give you a sign.

I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.

I could raise the dead and cause the mountains to run.

I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.

You’d have what you want, but you Wouldn’t Know ME.’

You’d not know the depth of my love for each saint.

You’d not know the power that I give to the faint.

You’d not learn to See through the clouds of despair;

You’d not learn to Trust just by knowing I’m there.

You’d not know the Joy of resting in Me,

When darkness and silence are all you can see.

You’d never experience the fullness of love,

When the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove.

You would Know that I give, and I save, for a start,

But you’d Not know the depth of the beat of My Heart.

The glow of My comfort late into the night,

The faith that I give when you walk without sight.

The depth that’s beyond getting just what you ask

From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

You’d never know should your pain quickly flee,

What it means that My Grace is sufficient for Thee.

Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,

But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I’m doing In You.

So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see

That the greatest of gifts is to Truly Know ME.

And though oft My answers seem terribly late,

My most precious answer of All is still……..

“WAIT!!!!”

Written by: Russell Kelfer

Be grateful for what you have. Show gratitude or appreciation to align your consciousness more closely with the abundance you are looking for.
Starting a new thing is usually easy because we have lots of emotions to help us. New things are exciting and typically everyone cheers us on. When we accomplish or reach our destination we are excited, But what about the middle? Joyce Meyer speaks of this in her book ‘Change your words, Change your life.’ It was in the middle of the disciples journey when they experienced the storm. They started fine and ended fine, but the realized they Needed more faith in the middle. Joyce quotes, “I like to say, ‘Faith is for the middle of Our journeys in Life.’” We never know how long each of our journeys will take – Experience will teach you – your journey will almost Always take longer than you expect!
Personally for me I learned to remove expectations from my life. The more I would expect the more disappointment it seemed I faced. Expectations are like negative thoughts – they almost always manifest disappointment. Negative thoughts create negative energies. We must embrace what is – Appreciate what we have, while we have it – Nothing lasts forever! Gratitude creates positivity – Positive energy creates Positive thoughts and Positive thoughts lead to love and appreciation!
The world Needs Love and Unity, not Hate and Division! Stop expecting something for nothing! Learn to be careful with what you hate! If you don’t like the weather, you know you can’t change it; so change your attitude about it! Learn to change what you can and Have the Wisdom to know what you can’t change!
Learn to Love everything, except Evil. Learn to know and understand the difference between hate and evil – They are very different. A hate filled heart can be taught to love through compassion! The more you are filled with positive/loving thoughts – the more you’ll speak loving words and the Happier You Will Be! Seek Faith amidst the journey – Find Love and Peace along the way!

Consider how things are going! You wish for rich harvests, yet the harvests are poor. While you were busy building fine homes, the Lords house fell into ruins! The Lords prophet, Haggai sends a message from the Lord – I am with you, says the Lord! For this is what the Lord Almighty says – In just a little while I will again shake the heavens and the Earth. I will shake the nations and all the treasures of all the nations will return to the Temple. The future glory of the Temple will be greater than its past glory – I, the Almighty Lord, have spoken!
Zechariah 10 – The Lord WILL Restore HIS people! Household Gods give false advice, fortune tellers predict only lies, and interpreters of dreams pronounce comfort less falsehoods. So many people wander around like lost sheep without a shepherd to protect or guide them. The Lord’s anger burns against your shepherds; the leaders will be punished! The Lord Almighty has arrived to look after HIS flock!
2 Samuel 10:12 – Be courageous! Let us fight bravely to save our people and the cities of our Lord! May the Lord’s Will be Done!
2 Samuel 2:5 – May the Lord bless you for being loyal – May the Lord be loyal to you in return!

*I have held many things in my hands and I have lost them all, but whatever I have placed in God’s hands – that I still possess. – Martin Luther
*If we really fully belong to God, then we must be at HIS disposal and we must Trust HIM. We must never be preoccupied with the future. There is No reason to be for God is already there. – Mother Teresa

So the time has come for me to Reveal the real truth. My True calling. I didn’t realize God would have me tell you so blatantly, but my struggles lead me to a place So few get to experience. Even those who are baptized in the Spirit of the Lord rarely get to experience a Real daily dialogue with HIM. We All have a way to understand God in the Spirit; to hear Him with our Heart. However, I’ve been blessed with the ability to truly Hear Him, not just with my heart, but with my ears. The earthly realm and the heavenly realm are so distinctly divided, yet intertwined so magnificently. He sends me messages He wishes for me to relay, in my writings I can feel His Love, His Anger or His sadness. It’s something I wish I could let everyone really feel – I mean really feel! I have No idea, why He chose me or what makes me different in this way. I AM a sinner – I curse way too often; I have bad habits; I’m not the nicest person and I really don’t feel true empathy. By all accounts that should make me Unqualified! One thing I’ve learned through All my bad decisions, addiction and mental illness struggles is that God doesn’t seek the Best of the Best – He genuinely calls forth the weakest, most unqualified souls! He seeks the Sinners, the doubters, the unfaithful. He pushes and pulls until One either blocks Him out or opens their Heart! I gave in to HIM and the world that opened up to me was something so unexpected! I’m Not perfect and will Never claim to be – I am Me – The Imperfect born again Christian, who believes the Lord is greater than All! He truly doesn’t even care what you call HIM, just know that HE is here and waiting for you! I have clear messages sent by His Spirit that I want everyone to understand Are Not from me. I will continue to post my own writings, but some will be direct messages from HIM. So please ‘don’t shoot the messenger’! I am simply here to perpetuate The Truth!

We can not prevent people from saying things we don’t want to hear, but it is your choice whether you choose to allow their words to resonate within Your soul or if we will choose to allow their words to flow out the same way they came in. No one can change your destiny with their words unless you allow it! Learning to stand on the promises of Gods words gives your soul renewed strength. The Word of God is all you need to defeat the enemy you face. Just repeat His verses, those that will give your soul renewed Hope & Strength! Everyday in every situation you are faced with a choice – You must face negative thoughts and the negative words of others, but by speaking Gods Words – You are wielding the sword of the Spirit. And that is how you slay your demons! Use these or research your own – God will lead you to the ones you need in your personal journey. However, these are always good to hold in your heart:

I can Do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me! (Philippians 4:13)

I am strong in the Lord and the power of HIS might; I draw my strength from Him! (Ephesians 6:10)

God is my Helper – The Lord is He who keeps me alive (Psalm 54:4)

(Paraphrased) – Do not be afraid, my servant, do not be dismayed – For I will bring you home again – declares the Lord (Jeremiah 30:10)

There will be many storms along your path as God uses these to strengthen your faith and help you grow in Godly character. Remember All things work out to the Good for those who Believe. The storms of life become easier on us if we can immediately say ’Something good will come from this – Stand strong and have Faith!’

So this post is going to be a little different. It’s about me and my struggles – even with my Firm belief in Faith and Gods unfailing Love. It’s about the struggles we face in the Flesh! It doesn’t matter how strong my faith or my belief is in knowing that God is in Control – ALL of the time! My flesh still hurts and longs for things that I have NO control over. Things I can’t pray into existence no matter how true or deep my relationship with the Lord is. These things He keeps reminding me are HIS – Not Mine! I don’t like to share my personal business because I know and feel the judgments that stem from that. How the stigma that surrounds mental illness is misconstrued as intolerance or weakness. Well those that know me – Know that weakness is Not in my vocabulary! Mental illness reeks havoc on the mind. Addiction is a by product of so many suffering from a mental illness or abuse that may or may not have caused said mental illness. I’m personally dealing with things I have shared; my daughter graduating and being an adult, the abuse or hurt suffered as a child. What I’ve neglected to say is how much this has caused me to struggle this past year. How the addiction has tried to rear its ugly head to tell me – you know how to suppress the pain. Though I’ve finally reached a point in my life – I don’t want to go back there! I take medication daily and have for years to control certain aspects of my illness. Though right now with everything I’m dealing with – it never seems to be enough. So the question comes, take more? Add a drink? Take both or seek the real relief? No, No, No! I will Not give in – I worked too hard, too long and suffered too much! I will get through this. Then BAM – another setback. I’ve hidden this part of me from just about everyone – my relationship with my mother. She’s a good person and would give the shirt off her back to anyone in need, but she has no clue how to be a mom. I can’t express to you how much that hurts; how my heart aches for a true relationship with her. I spent my teenage years taking care of her, physically, mentally and emotionally. I lost myself during that time. I ran after high school – trying to find- ME! My family thought my goal was selfish because none of them knew the truth! Sadly to say – I Never found ME, but I found something greater than ME – GOD! The flesh is weak, only in the Spirit will You find peace and even then, the flesh is a weakness that will always have a stronghold here on earth! Don’t give in and Never Give Up!

The Lord calls out – I will fight this battle for my people. As you return to work – Do Not let Down Your Guard! The enemy is still lurking – the virus – is still out there. We shall build a wall around our faith, but not lose sight. Carry your (weapons) figuratively (in this battle – it is diligence, brains and protective gear) Not guns or swords. Read Nehemiah 4 and interpret for yourself. Be diligent, steadfast and faithful. Those of us that heed the warnings and follow the Word with prayer and thanksgiving will come out on the other side. That doesn’t mean we aren’t going to be exposed or weak in our own vulnerabilities. It just means – You will get through this with perseverance! Daniel 12:10 states Many will be purified, cleansed and refined by these trials. But the wicked will continue in their wickedness – none of them will understand. Only those who are wise will know what it means. The Lord will restore His people. Household Gods give false advice, fortune tellers predict only lies, and interpreters of dreams pronounce comfortless falsehoods. So many people wander like lost sheep without a shepherd to protect and guide them. The Lord’s anger burns against your shepherds, the leaders will be punished. The Lord Almighty has arrived to look after His flock!

Whenever we pray we should do it with intention. The word prayer is so loosely thrown around – often I wonder – do people even know how to pray? Prayer can be as simple as a conversation with God. I think prayer should include grace and thanks, but mostly prayer is talked about when people want or need something. Today everyone is talking about prayer and praying for better days ahead. I want to talk about Dedicated Prayer, which is prayer with intention. We can pray for grace, acceptance, guidance or resolve. What we need to do is specifically know what the desire is and ask! Ask with dedication to specifics. We can ask God for general things and you will receive general answers. I was talking to my husband last night and with our senior (Class of 2020) facing unprecedented obstacles with her medical issues, this virus, graduation, and college – He mentioned he constantly prays for guidance, but feels he’s not getting a response. With this lack of response, he carries frustration and anger. I reminded him right now all of these things are out of our control And God doesn’t know how to answer that for you. Maybe instead of praying for guidance, you should pray for acceptance and understanding. We may need guidance on how to accept and understand this new situation we are facing, but we need to address our prayer as such. What about sickness, addiction, or financial struggles or freedom? These are all general prayers. The prayers should be dedicated! Pray that the cancer/tumor, virus will heal/ shrink or whatever you need to heal the specific illness. Pray that the desire of want/need of ‘said addition’ will subside. Pray for a specific financial burden to be lifted – maybe to payoff a car or mortgage. Stay focused and pray continually. Be consistent and pray the dedicated prayer constantly. He will hear you and He will help you – If you Believe!

As I start this – I want to express my emotions, but they are all over the place these days! I’m mad; I’m sad; I’m angry; I’m frustrated, but yet I’m still grateful! I’m sure you all can basically understand my first negative emotions, but let me clarify my gratefulness- this year is the final year to have my child at home with me. Time was moving so quickly, I was devastated at the loss I felt of losing her to her own freedoms. A loss that every mother feels when their baby turns 18 and graduates! This year though God gave us a Hard pause – a few precious moments to spend quality time to reconnect before she ventured on to her future! I’m Angry because she is losing these last precious months with her friends, her classmates, her teachers and the chance to walk the halls one last time! I’m mad because she has to miss all the milestones we took for granted – Senior Prom, Grad Night, Senior awards and her school’s celebration Senior Walk! I’m frustrated because there is nothing I or anyone else can do to ease the pain for the Class of 2020! Their pain and their grief is real, but I see the resilience in their eyes and in their hearts – They know things could be much worse! They are wise beyond their years; they suffer this loss with grace and confidence that hasn’t been witnessed in generations before! My teen who cries over her loss reminds herself, these are just things – there is so much more to be grateful for! In a time when nothing is more certain than change – Love is the most valuable commodity. We are All learning a valuable lesson of love. We have found a new appreciation of love for ourselves and love for our neighbors! These children have found a Love for themselves; love for their friends; love for a life they miss! In the very near future, I see them spending more time with others and less time on their ‘gadgets’. They have a new found appreciation for human connection – for love! This pandemic will end just as the one faced in 1918 (the Spanish flu), but hopefully we will all come out the other side a little wiser, a little stronger, and more resilient than ever before!