Author: crystalmbell

Sometimes I just have to write. I often find I can overcome a lot of my anxieties when I just get my thoughts out. Here lately I have a lot of thoughts. Not good or bad, just unending thoughts. I do not like to share too much of my life – judgements!! You know what I mean. This is going to ramble more than any other post I’ve written. There is no script for this, no research, no bible verses – just pure truth. Some hard emotional truths that I’ve had to recognize and overcome.

I recently learned I have multiple auto immune diseases. Not just a new diagnosis but several New diagnoses that are Incurable! Treatable, but never ending. You all know I’m a firm believer of God being the supreme being and all healing, miracle worker. But – BUT… What do you do when God says ‘You don’t get Healing. You get Grace and Love!’ Well, you, CRY! Once you have the relationship like I do with the Father, you don’t try to negotiate or pled, You start trying to ‘learn to live’ this New life. One I promise NO one would choose or wish on someone else.

Pain has been a very intracule part of my life for more time than I can recollect. Both physical and emotional pain. I have been privy to abuse, domestic violence, trauma, mental illness and addiction. My life has not been easy or comfortable, but when you finally accept where you are, who you are and who you are or can be in Christ – Things change. This does, however, require a change in your mind-set as well. I would not be who I am or where I am in this life, if it was not for me choosing a life in Christ. My most painful days come with a side of Hope. A hope and peace that everyone is offered through a life in Christ. I have been asked on more than one occasion ‘how I’m handling everything so well?’ My simple answer is by the ‘Grace of God!’ I could NOT do this in my own strength or my own mindset. I have to rely on God to pull me through the hard days and there are Alot of hard days.

One thing I know for sure is even when God chooses to allow it, then it is for GOOD. Maybe Not my Good, but GOOD for HIS Kingdom and that is Good enough for me.

HIS clock keeps perfect time. Though we may never understand how it works – His timing is always flawless. God will turn what was meant for evil into something good for those who believe.

Learning to live Gods way is never easy. His requirements for a fully surrendered life are in fact work. You have to want Him in your life, more than you crave the things of this world. Learning to obey His words and following His directions is a requirement of you, if you wish to become the embodiment of – God is Love! Learning to follow with complete obedience is very often extremely difficult even for those of whom seem poised in their fellowship with God.

More often than not, God asks me to do something that is out of character, which makes even an ‘easy’ task more difficult. You can ask questions and beg for Him to choose another ‘servant’. Then He will remind you of Moses and his studder or Abraham and His willingness of a living sacrifice. Then you have a moment of ‘Who am I?’ ‘Why am I questioning God?” I have found when I just Do what He presents to me and as long as I do it in HIS name with love in my heart – I AM rewarded! Not because I’m deserving or worthy, but because I was obedient in the task He asked of me! The LOVE He reveals to me in return for the Love I showed to someone else because of HIM is vibrant in the Blessings I receive.

My faith is strong, but my mind and heart are weak. I cannot walk without Him by my side. The world is changing! The Prophecies are being fulfilled. So much anger, confusion, and discord among us all – what a way to live! We have to find a way to bring God’s love back to Earth! God is LOVE and He wants us all to love one another! Show Love and be rewarded with God’s Love!

We all have heard this, just rest in God. It’s almost like sitting in your father’s lap and He says everything will be OK. I am learning more and more what this truly means! It’s about learning to Let go of what you can’t control and finding rest and comfort in the arms of a loving father. I’ve never been one full of emotion. I definitely cry more than Ever before – I do feel emotions, just a bit different than most. I just want you to see what is possible with unwavering faith! My sister has been battling cancer for 5 years now. My brother-in-law just lost his battle. They were diagnosed 1 month apart in 2021.

Losing someone is awful no matter how you view the person, but watching a love one suffer so intensely is far worse in my opinion. With that I say, if you know God you’d fully understand what I mean about that. Oh heaven, when the pain is gone and you are physically in the presence of God – I Can Only Imagine!

My sister has been in ICU for the last 2 weeks – we are just praying she’ll make it home for Christmas! However, this is what I want you to see or know! I have been in the hospital with her almost everyday, but not one of these days was I scared or worried. Our family though was struggling. I could see the worry, I could feel their sorrow. My husband asked me ‘Why are you having no reaction, no worry? You are scaring me.’ I replied, ‘What do you mean?’ He said, ‘you just got a call that they are rushing your sister to the hospital by ambulance and your reply was call me when you know something.’ Again I replied, ‘How do you think I should be acting?’ He said, ‘I dont know, but I feel like I’m worried to death. How can you not even be slightly concerned?’ I replied, ‘Im concerned, but that is not worry. My best answer is with my connection and faith in God. This makes me feel solid in my resolve that HE (God) said ‘I’ve got her.”

I didn’t jump up and rush to the hospital. I waited for the call and went to visit the next day. Through this all I have remained steady – even when she lost her hearing and her ability to speak for a few days. Everyone freaked out, but me. I remained calm and resolved that everyone was worrying for nothing. That is just how I really felt. I cannot control others’ emotions, but I can share why I am so calm. I simply said ‘God has her, do you trust that?’ My whole family is religious, so prayer is Huge, but resting in Him is completely different. That doesn’t need religion it requires real Faith. I’m learning most people don’t understand Real Faith.

Resting in God requires active Faith not just words or works. You have to learn to accept that faith is not something you learn, it is something you gain when you truly decide to follow Jesus. When you mediate on His words and His love, in time your relationship will grow, then your faith will grow too. You have to make the time to spend time with God. He should not only get the last few minutes of your day (in prayer), but you need to set aside deliberate time to get to know him personally. If you want a friendship – it’s a two-way street. You have to make time for that friend and that friend has to make time for you. God is really no different. He longs for a friendship with you, but you have to make the time! One thing that is really awesome about this is that God is waiting on YOU – no matter what time you call upon Him – He is waiting, ready to listen and grow with you.

Resting in God is the most peace I have ever felt this side of Heaven.

In my research, that you all know I love so much; I came across something very interesting. The mustard seed faith quote has even the most seasoned Christian still wondering exactly what it means. I’m seeing my mustard seed faith lead others to Christ because of the medical conditions I’m facing.

Now, what I mean by that is you must understand the mustard seed in itself. Yes, it is ‘just’ a miniscule dot, but its design is infectious. Let me explain. The Bible says in Matthew 17:20 “Truly I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move; nothing will be impossible for you.” Another passage illustrates a comparison – Matthew 13:31-32 or Mark 4: 30-32 “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed….. Though it is the smallest of seeds; it grows into one of the largest of garden plants going on to become a tree. ” This just makes the mustard seed all that more interesting when it comes a biblical vocabulary.

I am not a farmer and just beginning to take up gardening. I had no idea how the science of each plant determines its entire life span. The right soil is one of the most important things to consider. I’m comparing that to your foundation and where you stand- is it solid, soft or permeable? Back to the science of the mustard seed – in the 1st century the mustard plant was invasive, growing rapidly and choking out other plants by dominating the nutrients. The mustard seeds could lay dormant yet viable in the soil for several years, this made eradication difficult if not impossible. Follow me here… Jesus and His parables (how he taught the lay people) make his logic of life so much more understandable. Except that mustard seed one… Never could figure that out, but now with science behind it (I think) I get it.

What God means is that He wants your faith no matter how small, to represent real true faith. Your faith and trust in God will be invasive to the hearts of others. We all start off in the tiny beginnings of Christianity, to be grown into the faith believers we are today. When faith of Christians becomes so strong it can withstand all the winds and stay planted in that faith knowing one day will be your day to sprout.

Faith the size of a mustard seed simply means to engage your faith, let it out – Be Invasive, Be of strong roots (faith in Christ is your root- not familial), stay steadfast. God wants you to understand it’s not the size of your faith – it’s the depth of that faith. God will grow true faith into immense proportions in every believer who spreads His gospel IN Faith.

God uses our broken pieces to build his masterpiece. Today I was looking for a new topic. I’ve been writing and thought for sure I had another ‘whole post’ written out. Well today God would not let me find it. All I could find were pieces written here and there not compiled yet into one location. As I read these little phrases or paragraphs, I began to notice a pattern. Not one laid out all nice and neat, but one that truly came together as I would flip from page to page, open notebooks and legal pads full of writings. The sentences that fit so well together created this post exactly as God intended it.

We leave pieces of ourselves everywhere we go. That was God’s intention when He created us. He wanted us to leave pieces behind (letting go of sin or planting seeds) so that we are being recreated or helping to build the future as God intended. He wants us to touch or be touched by someone or something as to be inspired to give away pieces. This post, however, is Powerful when the pieces come together.

Soon All will come to Light – Anyone who is willing to hear should listen and understand. Pay attention to the Godly teachings. The more you do this the more you will understand. To those that are open to the teachings more understanding will be given. To those who chose not to listen will lose what they have. Be Aware of the Humanist (Religion) and its teachings. (More to come on this)

God sees everything perfectly and will help you to see His Will for your life. No matter where you are in this life – think maybe you were born for just such a time as this. If you were ever to question, which generation will face the Tribulation – the prophecies are clear – for We are Near! He equips us with knowledge to share.

Here we stop the pieces, and I see a message so clear. A call for disciples. Learn what you can – spend your free time in the Word of God so you too can see a message so clear!