Tag: faith

Resting in God

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We all have heard this, just rest in God. It’s almost like sitting in your father’s lap and He says everything will be OK. I am learning more and more what this truly means! It’s about learning to Let go of what you can’t control and finding rest and comfort in the arms of a loving father. I’ve never been one full of emotion. I definitely cry more than Ever before – I do feel emotions, just a bit different than most. I just want you to see what is possible with unwavering faith! My sister has been battling cancer for 5 years now. My brother-in-law just lost his battle. They were diagnosed 1 month apart in 2021.

Losing someone is awful no matter how you view the person, but watching a love one suffer so intensely is far worse in my opinion. With that I say, if you know God you’d fully understand what I mean about that. Oh heaven, when the pain is gone and you are physically in the presence of God – I Can Only Imagine!

My sister has been in ICU for the last 2 weeks – we are just praying she’ll make it home for Christmas! However, this is what I want you to see or know! I have been in the hospital with her almost everyday, but not one of these days was I scared or worried. Our family though was struggling. I could see the worry, I could feel their sorrow. My husband asked me ‘Why are you having no reaction, no worry? You are scaring me.’ I replied, ‘What do you mean?’ He said, ‘you just got a call that they are rushing your sister to the hospital by ambulance and your reply was call me when you know something.’ Again I replied, ‘How do you think I should be acting?’ He said, ‘I dont know, but I feel like I’m worried to death. How can you not even be slightly concerned?’ I replied, ‘Im concerned, but that is not worry. My best answer is with my connection and faith in God. This makes me feel solid in my resolve that HE (God) said ‘I’ve got her.”

I didn’t jump up and rush to the hospital. I waited for the call and went to visit the next day. Through this all I have remained steady – even when she lost her hearing and her ability to speak for a few days. Everyone freaked out, but me. I remained calm and resolved that everyone was worrying for nothing. That is just how I really felt. I cannot control others’ emotions, but I can share why I am so calm. I simply said ‘God has her, do you trust that?’ My whole family is religious, so prayer is Huge, but resting in Him is completely different. That doesn’t need religion it requires real Faith. I’m learning most people don’t understand Real Faith.

Resting in God requires active Faith not just words or works. You have to learn to accept that faith is not something you learn, it is something you gain when you truly decide to follow Jesus. When you mediate on His words and His love, in time your relationship will grow, but your faith will grow too. You have to make the time to spend time with God. He should not only get the last few minutes of your day (in prayer), but you need to set aside deliberate time to get to know him personally. If you want a friendship – it’s a two-way street. You have to make time for that friend and that friend has to make time for you. God is really no different. He longs for a friendship with you, but you have to make the time! One thing that is really awesome about this is that God is waiting on YOU – no matter what time you call upon Him – He is waiting, ready to listen and grow with you.

Resting in God is the most peace I have ever felt this side of Heaven.

Mustard Seed Faith

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In my research, that you all know I love so much; I came across something very interesting. The mustard seed faith quote has even the most seasoned Christian still wondering exactly what it means. I’m seeing my mustard seed faith lead others to Christ because of the medical conditions I’m facing.

Now, what I mean by that is you must understand the mustard seed in itself. Yes, it is ‘just’ a miniscule dot, but its design is infectious. Let me explain. The Bible says in Matthew 17:20 “Truly I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move; nothing will be impossible for you.” Another passage illustrates a comparison – Matthew 13:31-32 or Mark 4: 30-32 “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed….. Though it is the smallest of seeds; it grows into one of the largest of garden plants going on to become a tree. ” This just makes the mustard seed all that more interesting when it comes a biblical vocabulary.

I am not a farmer and just beginning to take up gardening. I had no idea how the science of each plant determines its entire life span. The right soil is one of the most important things to consider. I’m comparing that to your foundation and where you stand- is it solid, soft or permeable? Back to the science of the mustard seed – in the 1st century the mustard plant was invasive, growing rapidly and choking out other plants by dominating the nutrients. The mustard seeds could lay dormant yet viable in the soil for several years, this made eradication difficult if not impossible. Follow me here… Jesus and His parables (how he taught the lay people) make his logic of life so much more understandable. Except that mustard seed one… Never could figure that out, but now with science behind it (I think) I get it.

What God means is that He wants your faith no matter how small, to represent real true faith. Your faith and trust in God will be invasive to the hearts of others. We all start off in the tiny beginnings of Christianity, to be grown into the faith believers we are today. When faith of Christians becomes so strong it can withstand all the winds and stay planted in that faith knowing one day will be your day to sprout.

Faith the size of a mustard seed simply means to engage your faith, let it out – Be Invasive, Be of strong roots (faith in Christ is your root- not familial), stay steadfast. God wants you to understand it’s not the size of your faith – it’s the depth of that faith. God will grow true faith into immense proportions in every believer who spreads His gospel IN Faith.

Pieces

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God uses our broken pieces to build his masterpiece. Today I was looking for a new topic. I’ve been writing and thought for sure I had another ‘whole post’ written out. Well today God would not let me find it. All I could find were pieces written here and there not compiled yet into one location. As I read these little phrases or paragraphs, I began to notice a pattern. Not one laid out all nice and neat, but one that truly came together as I would flip from page to page, open notebooks and legal pads full of writings. The sentences that fit so well together created this post exactly as God intended it.

We leave pieces of ourselves everywhere we go. That was God’s intention when He created us. He wanted us to leave pieces behind (letting go of sin or planting seeds) so that we are being recreated or helping to build the future as God intended. He wants us to touch or be touched by someone or something as to be inspired to give away pieces. This post, however, is Powerful when the pieces come together.

Soon All will come to Light – Anyone who is willing to hear should listen and understand. Pay attention to the Godly teachings. The more you do this the more you will understand. To those that are open to the teachings more understanding will be given. To those who chose not to listen will lose what they have. Be Aware of the Humanist (Religion) and its teachings. (More to come on this)

God sees everything perfectly and will help you to see His Will for your life. No matter where you are in this life – think maybe you were born for just such a time as this. If you were ever to question, which generation will face the Tribulation – the prophecies are clear – for We are Near! He equips us with knowledge to share.

Here we stop the pieces, and I see a message so clear. A call for disciples. Learn what you can – spend your free time in the Word of God so you too can see a message so clear!

Broken

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Sometimes God has to break us. Break us from old or unhealthy habits, break relationships and friendships, break connections we thought were inseverable or break our stubbornness (often with pain -physical or emotional.) He does not break us to hurt us, but to grow our character. I have always been a do-er, a fixer if you will! I see an issue and I just jump right in – often headfirst! No looking before I leap – no time to reflect; I just dig my heels in and Do! Do whatever it takes- push my feelings and thoughts aside – there’s work to be done! Busyness is who I am or who I was. I wore it like a badge; it felt good to know my friends and family knew I was a motivator. I was often called on to help out with whatever task needed to be done. They knew when I showed up the task would be accomplished no matter what!

I thought I would take time and slow down after my sister’s cancer battle – That was the plan! Only I discovered slowing down was not an option for me – I didn’t know how. God chose to show me how and certainly Not the way I would have liked. He broke me! My ability to do has come to a halt, which is very uncharacteristic of me. I was still trying to fill the voids with busyness even after I promised God and myself that I would slow down. I remember my sister saying once that if I didn’t have chronic back pain, I’d probably be unstoppable. I told her then, I knew it was something God used to keep me humble. Little did I know at the time that 20-year pain was only a precursor of the main event.

Going through some old writings I found a personal journal entry from February 2022. A month after my sister’s oncologist said, ‘we’ve ran the race as best we could – there is nothing more I can do.’ Also, turns out it was 5 months before God healed her and 7 months before my ‘incident’ that has seemingly taken me out the rat race. I felt broken at the time, but that was emotional – something I’ve mastered at putting in a box to continue my busyness. Over the last two years, God has chosen to slowly Break me Physically! This is something I don’t know how to commandeer, but I have learned more about resilience than I ever dreamed. However, I’m discovering God is using this physical brokenness to heal the emotional brokenness I’ve fought my whole life. God doesn’t break us to hurt us, but to Heal us!

The Power of Giving

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God calls us to ‘not withhold good.’ Proverbs 3:27 When God blesses you – not only should you give thanks, but you should also use that blessing to be a blessing to others. Sometimes we need to ask God to open our eyes; so we can be honest with ourselves and to others. The Holy Spirit will Always Do Good! When we are filled with the spirit we seek out ways to humbly serve God. It is within you to Give, but this is to be done by choice. The Free will we all live by allows us the option to give or not to give. To do what is right and good. We can All give something – Share your time, your energy, your money, your prayers and share your heart! The best test of your capabilities is to take something from your home (not something you’ve tucked away and forgotten about), this means you have to make a conscience effort to choose something that you like, you use – you enjoy. What can you part with that still has meaning to you? Take this item and put it in the car – ride it around with you until the opportunity arises for you to make a choice as to whether you will really give it away.

God enjoys testing our character. He loves to see us Choose HIM. He truly tested me last month as he told me to give My Bible away! Now, this Bible has been the same bible that helped save my life. I was sentimental about it and when He first suggested it, I hesitated and said Um, No! In my heart I was not sure I could part with it, but He doubled down and did not suggest again. He said, ‘as an act of obedience I didn’t ask you, I told you!’ I was hopefully (understandably) a little hurt (that He would take this treasure from me.) Well, I went yesterday to buy myself a new bible. Personally, my favorite go to version is the NLT – New Living Translation. It takes the other versions and puts them into words we most understand. I have taken time to check this I promise. So let me share for just a moment the very first thing I read as I open ‘My New Bible’

Beloved Daughter, you are precious to Me. I long to give you the desires of your heart, but I don’t want any of the blessings I give you to draw you away from Me….. All the gifts that I give to you come with a beautiful purpose. ….this is from Thrive Devotional Bible Day 58 ; Author Shari Rose Shepard

I may have never seen this passage written directly to my heart from God through someone like me. I love his confirmations of promises he’s given. What a blessing her writings are, in the pages, placed exactly where one might seek a better understanding of a certain passage. How grateful I am to have given my bible to someone God chose, which allowed me to step into yet another one of His beautiful blessings upon my life.

Depression

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Honestly, I’ve never been one to ‘feel’ depressed or even had a real understanding. Looking back over my life I can now see many times where depression set in without me even realizing it. Lately I’ve come to realize that depression looms just below the surface. Having so many mental anomalies it’s hard for me to pinpoint which one is holding strongest. The last few months have taken a very stressful toll on my body and mind. I know I’ve spoken about pain in previous posts, but nothing prepared me for the physical and psychological pain that would overtake my life. I typically keep most personal information private, but God has asked me to share this, so you’ll understand – ‘I’m Not Special.’ I’m not divinely protected because of my unwavering faith or dedication to the ‘Living God.’ I outlined some in ‘Suffering’ but now let me make it real. I have been suffering from a ‘bad back’ since I gave birth 23 years ago. I herniated a disc back in 2002 – I could not walk, sit, stand or do pretty much anything for myself for almost two weeks. With no insurance back then – I opted for a chiropractor instead of an ER. I swear by chiropractic care, but for as long as I have been suffering maybe an ER would have had a different outcome. Too late now! Fast forward to 2022 (20 years later almost to the day) I was laid up again with another herniated disc in the same location. This time, however, I have insurance; so off to the ER we go. I was hoping for a miracle cure, but we got sent home with pain meds and orders to take it easy for a few months. Come to find out through 20 years of back pain and chronic pain management there is no surgery that can fix ‘muscle spasms that wreck the nerves.’

So, I have been on a downward spiral since the end of 2022. This continued through all of 2023 when the shots stopped working and then the high doses of pain meds started affecting my cognitive abilities. So into 2024, I became a medical anonomly. The doctors didn’t know what to do the pain had gotten so bad, that my entire body started fighting me. My blood pressure was staying at ‘stroke’ level no matter what meds were prescribed. My PCOS was overreacting and the PVCs in my heart could no longer be controlled by my beta blocker – my hormone levels were out of control and I was in a constant state of pain. Thank God for great benefits at my job. I was working under FMLA to maintain the days I could show up, but then came time for me to request Short Term Disabiltiy because the thought of this becoming permanent was becoming a real possibility.

So my doctors and I took the time to explore every single option available to try and get some relief. We were able to find the right meds to control the symptoms caused by the pain but getting that under control is still a work in progress. Unfortunately, when the spine center found a surgery that would work my insurance will not cover it, as it is NOT FDA approved. Being given this information we went back to the trial-and-error methods. Of course, this made me sad. I was now spending most of my days in bed or the recliner barely able to move. If you know back pain- you understand, if you don’t let me tell you your spine controls almost all of your movements. Let me sum this up – my heart arrythmias make me feel like I ran 10 miles just walking to the bathroom, my PCOS is menstrual cramps x10 in the front part of your body where the low back is. Now if there is a cyst on the ovary multiply menstrual cramps x1000. Understand this pain is not regulated to ‘that week.’ Now add a herniated disc in the low back – I have felt pain on a level so high its hard for people to understand. We are now onto the Long Term Disability and the ADA has had to be added to my claim.

Depression has set in, but I refuse to allow it to consume me. There are more days than not that I have been stuck in a blank stare. I have tried to stay positive through all of this. I have even negotiated with God that I was ok being paralyzed if it would stop the pain. He gave me neither. With few options, I did have a back surgery in hopes it would help. I was told it would not remove the pain but maybe make it less. Post op 4-5 weeks now – I’m still having the same pain!

I write all of this to tell you I’m not mad at God and being in a state of depression is Not an excuse for me to be. Life rarely goes as planned and bad things happen that are out of our control. I choose to focus on the positives – God has blessed me in so many ways. I use the scriptures to continue to give me strength when I have none left. Just like I said before Pain is just a place, we visit from time to time. Depression is an emotion that can be overcome with time and sometimes that ‘time frame’ is longer than we wish. Know that God did not forget you, just like He has not forgotten me! I don’t know why I am going through this or why bad things happen. It’s not fair, it’s not ok, but That my friends is OK! God has a plan, and it will all be revealed one day – just Stay Strong and Carry On!

Hearing God Speak

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You shall hear his words even when you don’t see his face. If you search for Him with all your heart and soul – You will find Him!

Agreeing with God about Sin is the first step in the channel of communication between God, the Holy Spirit and oneself. You must confess your sin; acknowledge you are a sinner and fall short of the glory of God! Accept the Forgiveness God offers through confession. Step two is a bit harder. This calls for us to set ourselves apart to be holy. Once the sin is confessed and forgiveness accepted – One must learn God’s decrees (laws) and put them into practice (obeying all His commands.) This part can be hard for some, seem impossible to others and even easy for some. However, this brings forth a question – Am I doing this with/for my own free will or is it divine intervention? The answer is Both! You need both of these to work together to complete step two. Despite our best efforts, we will never make ourselves holy – Only God can offer that. The apostle Paul teaches in Romans (8:13) that ‘For if you live according to the flesh, you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body – You will live!’ So, with your cooperation and the grace of Gods divine intervention – You are on track to hear God’s voice. The still small voice in your ear or the quiet whisper in the air. Learning to live out Gods truth rather than your own is Step 3. Once you’ve been set free from sin the remaining work is to continually remain in that truth. When temptation arises you have to stop and ask yourself – is this God’s will or a temptation of the flesh? We all are weak and are destined to fall, but consciously knowing these are decisions that can keep you from hearing God’s voice by being baptized of the Spirit- you must ask yourself if the temptation is worth it?! That is for you to decide.

Steps 4 and 5 are entirely up to you. You choose the path, and God stays with you as long as you let him. Step four is recognizing these fleshly desires and understanding these natural cravings are all a part of our sinful nature. You have the option to live according to the flesh or choosing to set aside those earthly desires to better align your conscious with the Will of God. The final step or obstacle as it may seem is to overcome those physical desires. In stepping away from them or not giving in – You can enjoy the deep sense of peace and satisfaction that Only God can provide. This can only be achieved by accepting who we are is whom God created us to be. Philippians 4:11-13 Teaches us to learn how to be content with our circumstances and understand we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength. I hope and pray that every reader here, sets aside their earthly desires so that the Holy Spirit will come to reside in your heart, and you too will Hear God Speak.

Suffering

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The Israelites were a free people until one day God decided to choose a future king before the other kings of the land chose one for themselves. At this time, it was in the beginning. The Book of Genesis (the first book of the Torah, then of the Bible). God began to send prophecies through dreams. Joseph, son of Jacob, was one of the first to ever receive these and he was hated and ridiculed for speaking them out loud. Soon after he revealed his dreams to his brothers – they plotted to kill him; as they did not want to be bowing to their brother. You know the story – he was thrown into a pit and then sold into slavery.

Suffering, from the beginning of time, has always been at the heart of God’s story. Suffering is character building. God chooses to use it, to create in you, the heart you Need to be a follower of Christ. He doesn’t always send sunshine and rainbows because that’s Not how life is- with or without HIM! When you are facing that mountain – climbing it is a challenge. Sometimes it feels too hard, too tall, too ridged or too steep! Know this is when most often we seek help – guidance – rescue! We seek God in our darkest moments, when we feel most alone, scared or lost! Thats when God will send out His Army, His soldiers – spiritual or real. But Most often this is where you find God, because most often this is when you seek HIM! God is Always there, even in the good times, but that’s not typically when people look for HIM. When life is going well, often He becomes forgotten or placed in the back of the mind- because we don’t feel as though we Need Him. Understand though that is not true – You need God in both good times and bad. Seek HIM in ALL things and give thanks to Him in your joyful seasons.

Love

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We all strive to be loved.  To truly experience Love should start at birth, but we all know that isn’t how things always go. Love will never condemn you for being lost, but love will NOT let you stay there alone, even through it will never force you to come out from your hiding place. Love is an intangible gift; one you can give or receive.  The ultimate gift is knowing How much God Loves Us because of the sacrifice He made through Jesus Christ. Love is not a commodity, which you work for or earn. Trust is something you earn, Obedience is something you learn, Faith is something you grow, but Love – LOVE is All of these, yet none of these.

   No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God   has prepared for those who Love Him! (1 Corinthians 2:9)

Don’t let the enemy of your soul talk you into accepting anything less than what God has prepared for you. Growing up without the tenderness of Love- a love you can feel and experience, not just empty words, can leave you feeling lost and alone. But when Real love comes into play, it can be so powerful the feeling is undeniable. Love is Powerful- It can heal the most broken soul. The right kind of Love, the Healing Love, the patient, forgiving kind of Love can bring about a peace that is unknown outside of this type of Love. This kind of Love is Not just a feeling, but an experience.

  Love is patient, Love is kind…. Love never gives up, it never loses faith. Love is always hopeful and will endure through every circumstance.  (1 Corinthians 13)

We are called to love one another – to be brothers and sisters in Christ – bringing about a sense of a deeper Love only Christ can provide. He does this through undivided Trust, Obedience, and Faith!

God is waiting for each of us to grasp the Loving concept – ‘If you knew me, you would Trust me!’

Love is not to be taken for granted or given without boundaries, but Love is the greatest gift of ALL!

Let not your heart be troubled, for you are deeply loved by God!

Faith

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Levels of faith are earned through Trust, Obedience and Action. Faith takes action to produce. You can’t manifest it through thought or good works. Faith is earned through trials and tribulation that require Trust and Obedience. We find it easy to say, ‘Just have faith’ or ‘take that leap of faith’, but the truth is – no one can have Faith without Trust. Trust, I have learned, is Earned – not given. God should automatically earn your trust – just by the Truth foretold in the Bible. Like history, those that don’t know it are doomed to repeat it. Just reading through the scriptures should give you pause. We are living events foretold and reliving parts of history documented in the Bible. Faith is hard, yet we are told it’s easy or at least an easy concept. When God said he who believes only need to have faith the size of a mustard seed. Many people truly believe that is easy because a mustard seed is tiny, just a minuscule dot. That just means it’s a seed that needs watering to grow into its true magnitude.

Mountain moving Faith takes years to achieve no one is born with this spiritual knowledge. It’s a limitation of all humankind. The best news is that Our Father is not limited and there are none of us outside His realm of reach. We only need one thing or one person to plant that seed of faith into us; so that God can use that moment of realization to align things to fall into place to open the spiritual world to us. Then through our own studies and the ‘push’ of God will we be able to grow by leaps and bounds. Sometimes God will put you in a waiting period. We all get frustrated when our prayers aren’t answered right away, or the dream seems delayed. It is in this down time that God is working, using people, places and ‘things’ to grow and teach you! God chooses the weak, the poor and the sinner- you know us ordinary people, to conform the Wise. We are born in His image so that through the human life we can grow more Christ like through our trials or become bitter and sinical from the life we have. Personally, once I turned away from my anger and bitterness of the life I had been ‘given’ I realized I could choose my future. Learning to Trust in God that every bad thing that happened was just a test to see how I would react. What would I do to contribute to the growth of my own faith? We each are given tests, how you choose to respond will determine the outcome of your situation. Personally, I took to the Word. I began reading, studying and praying to a God I didn’t really know, I trusted that I was meant for more and needed to figure out how to get there. It is true when it is said the word of God is the Armor of God. He gives you scriptures to fight back against the battles you face, if you are in a down period, lost in the valley, You can hold onto the Words that are True! I would use scripture to combat my demons – when the Devil told me I was weak, God said I am strong – When the world reminded me that I was alone, God said I am with you, I will never leave you. When the heartache of lost loved ones filled my mind, again God reminded me that your rewards await you in heaven. A reminder I will be with them again. He equips us, builds our character, through trials and tribulations to be able to do extraordinary things. If God has you in a Holding period- Embrace the wait! You’ll experience Gods love while you are there. You won’t recognize it because you are still growing, but at some point, you’ll be able to feel it! A feeling of being safe- content – maybe even a little anxious. This is where You can change things. First, we must understand that everything that happens to us is character testing. Your reaction is the epitome of who you are at your core. Next, how do you overcome the situation or circumstance? Was this circumstance of your own choices – is it something you can change, if so, do you even want to? Never give up because it feels too Hard. Life is Hard, the world we live in is Hard, responsibilities are Hard, Obedience is Hard (at times). Life isn’t fair, but God is! Understand that through it all – This is the time when God teaches you who you are. A time when you learn to have Faith! Mountain moving Faith is REAL, we may not physically be able to move a mountain, but each trial you face feels like your own mountain! Hold on! Trust in His truth and Discover – You are a faith shaking, mountain Mover, Child of God, the Father.